I just had to start believing anything was possible...
Not long ago I was doing all the "right things", I ran regularly, I sat in meditation, swam in the ocean, committed to my yoga practice ate well and was working harder than ever to be productive in my business, be a good mum to my then one year old son, and navigate a challenging time in my marriage as my husband was very unwell. I was taking care of everyone’s needs but my own.
Part of me was silently screaming for support and help but the outer part of me maintained a toughen up and keep it together attitude.
The real challenge was, I didn’t really know what my own needs were let alone how to meet them.
From the outside my world looked enviable, from the inside I was crumbling.
I chose to never give up and every day I live grateful for that choice.
Like many of the women I now meet and work with, I was driven by the world around me reacting to who it needed me to be and had little or no connection with what it meant to live each day in success and find ease within myself.
And my sliding doors moment was when I realised that nothing outside of me could tell me what I needed most, I began to go within for the answers, and build my life and business from the inside out.
Belief and trust in my potential before it was ever visible has allowed me to create the life I choose. Considering others without compromising myself.
By combining 25 years working in behavioral change with a deep understanding of what takes internally to switch from reaction to fulfillment I have developed my InsideOut methodology that empowers women to thrive through any change or transition and return to a deeper place of leadership from within.
Why leadership is the key to our wellness...
I took a deep exhale, as I looked out to the conference full of women in leadership in front of me, I watched them do the same, perhaps for the first time in a while.
From and outsider's perspective it was a room of perfection, high performing, well-dressed, well-educated and respected women in enviable roles leading companies and movements across Australia.
Yet something was lacking, very few of these women valued their own personal time as much as how hard they worked in business.
There is an unspoken belief amongst women that selflessness is part and parcel of leading in business. Prioritise everything and everyone before you and you are doing a great job.
“How many of you would prioritise a dead-line over a toilet break let alone a lunch break.”
Silence, a few nervous laughs and a lot of guilty looks.
This was a room full of women in leadership who were lacking in the most important type of leadership - leadership of the self.
You are all incredible at leading others yet you can’t even lead yourself to take regular breaks and look after your own needs. This is limiting your capacity as a leader.
The challenge is that we make our own leadership as complicated as our work. What if it was as simple as returning to your own breath.
There is a reason I speak about leadership in replacement of wellbeing.
Leadership for women is an admirable trait, wellbeing is something that you do in your spare time (of which I doubt you have). Leadership is a trait, wellbeing is a check-list.
When you lead yourself well you have the advantage of experiencing incredible achievements without the overdrive and are able to take the time out required to be your best and optimise your performance.
It’s not about creating a perfectly balanced life, it is about balancing what you want to be known for with who you choose to authentically present to the world.
Frazzled and guilty or Fierce Grace.
Burnout is a real problem, you take on the world and somehow believe that it’s just what you do, you have something to prove and you will get a break one day, you just don’t know when. The problem is that busy as an illustration of productivity and success keeps you disconnected from yourself.
One day often arrives as a diagnosis rather than a choice and the time you should be enjoying your life you spend in recovery.
Well at least I am successful.
But are you really?
You get to redefine success to be relevant to a life of fulfillment and personal leadership. A life where you know who you are, what you want and where you are going without needing anyone else to acknowledge your brilliance because you feel it from within.
My one day arrived after a year of juggling motherhood, an unwell husband and a business start-up that took a dive after taking on poor advice and being so exhausted and desperate for some success that I didn’t see my business being taken from underneath me. The irony of attempting to launch a wellness escape that I desperately needed for myself was not lost on me.
In pure exhaustion I lost connection with my own intuition and found myself in the middle of my own mess with no energy to see beyond the next day.
I spiraled into a very dark place feeling depleted, defeated and powerless.
I had lost everything and was circling outside myself for the answers or someone to take the blame.
I recognised that nothing outside of me was going to save me. I stopped looking and started listening. I became aware of everything that I was feeding myself with, my thoughts, beliefs, behaviors, habits and actions.
I became aware of who I was in my relationships, where I had lacked boundaries and agreements that supported me.
I redefined and redesigned my life for success.
Leadership is our key to wellness and our key to finding our own version of success. You can only create from a place of belief so that is the first place you must begin.
That's why my InsideOut methodology has helped people navigate the most challenging of circumstances to create exactly what they want from a place of confidence and ease.
It is in those moments where we think we need to do more to be successful that the opposite is often true.
I now lead an enviable life where I can be the present Mum I want to be to my kids whilst growing a successful business supporting and guiding women back to their own center of power from anywhere I choose to be.
In 2018-19 I was running retreats between Australia and Bali, creating a place for people to immerse themselves in a whole new way of being.
Retreating from my life on a regular basis has given me the insight to create the adjustments and changes necessary to stay in leadership of my world. Whilst it is wonderful to escape remotely to a beautiful destination, the process of retreating from your everyday life can be done anywhere at any time. No matter where you are or what your restrictions to travel might be, it is possible to create space to redefine your life.
Learn More about Retreat Yourself Options that might suit you here.
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